Everything · Pictures · Ralph and I · The Cats

Hello my dear friends, I’m so sorry to tell you that Samantha has passed as well

This year has been and still is one of the most difficult ones yet in my life, due to the combination of frightening changes in our world and country, and heartbreaking losses of two of our sweet furbabies.

Samantha has passed on Wednesday, December 15, 2021 at 14:45, reuniting with her sweet brother Sonic and my girl Murli.

Beautiful Samantha October 17, 2021

I don’t know where to start. Samantha has had IBD (Inflammatory Bowels Disease) and after being perfectly stable and well for years, she’s had a flare up of the disease in early fall, out of the blue. We will never know what triggered it, as there had been no changes in her medication, food or even or any other events in our life. Nothing stressful happened at that time.

But ever since then, I went to the Vet countless times with her and I myself was there to pick up medications constantly. The Vet and I tried everything. Even ordered medications from outside of Austria to try after all the traditional ones didn’t help. We tried using medications off label with the Vet, as some of them have shown to help at times. All in combination with supplements, beneficial gut bacteria and various diets.

Though, nothing helped. Not even a little. Her condition kept getting worse and she kept losing weight no matter how much she ate, and she ate constantly.

We tried using injections to get a handle on the inflammation and cramps, but nothing helped. I gave her subcutaneous injections and drips myself at home. The Vet Lady had already taught me how to do that with Sonic.

The speed at which Samantha got worst increased as well. In the last 10 days, she started to eat every hour. I would fill up her bowl and she ate it all up, and wanted some more, which she always got. Then about an hour or so later, she would ask me for food again. So I fed her basically day and night in the end. Poor baby became so restless, and was up and down of the bed, or any other place she wanted to curl up at. But she would get up again within a short time.

On Monday morning I found her sitting by her water fountain, from which she normally drank all the time, but she seemed as if she forgot how to drink. Samantha would touch the water with her nose and acted as if she expected to get water that way. Then she would lift her head back up and look around confused. Soon later she started crying by the water, because she wanted to drink but could not.

I fed her water with the syringe, just like I did with Sonic and I kept her hydrated with drips, but she would cry by the water despite it all. I tried a number of different fountains and water bowls, with different levels of water, to see if anything helps. I even tried plates and put the fountains and water bowls higher up, so that Samantha would have the water right at the mouth level. Though to no avail.

The worst was seeing just how unhappy she seemed and she was in pain, despite pain medication. Her diarrhoea was becoming so frequent, it was heartbreaking. So Ralph and I knew we only had one choice left. We did not want her to suffer any worse than she already did.

I called our Vet on Tuesday morning to talk to her and we decided that she would come by our home to put Samantha to sleep the next day. She was going to call us before she would come, to talk again. But over night and the next morning, it became even more clear that there was no other choice left, as Samantha kept getting worse still.

Both Ralph and I were in a horrible state already, knowing what was to come. I ran about with my heart already broken and I could not even describe the sadness I felt and feel if I tried.

The last hours I just kept feeding her, because she was so hungry.

As the time came and our Vet was on her way, I closed the door to the rest of the apartment and stayed with Samantha in the kitchen and hallway area. Ralph could not bear to witness it, as he had to be with so many other of his beloved furbabies when they were put to sleep and these memories are still haunting him to this day.

Samantha knew the Vet Lady well and was never worried or afraid of her. So when she came, she stayed perfectly calm, acting normally and even had a few more bites to eat.

For a while we were just hanging out and talking to each other and Samantha. The Vet comforted Samantha and was so sweet to her, just like she always is.

All I want to say is that Samantha fell asleep without a hint of fear or stress visible. She fell asleep very quickly, while I held her head, so she could see me. At the same time she was also able to see the beautiful garden she always loved to look out to and she saw the sun setting with a beautiful red light in the clouds.

The rest is a blur again and I can’t even describe how I spent the rest of the evening and night. I just cried constantly. I didn’t want to call the Pet Crematory right away and decided to call them the next day and arrange a pick up for the afternoon.

I needed some time and I wanted to make sure Samantha has enough time to realise what has happened and let go of her body. I didn’t want her following her body in confusion if the pick up happened so soon after her passing.

I pray she’s reunited with Sonic and Murli now. I’m still being split between knowing that it was the right decision and wondering if Samantha feels betrayed. Because she didn’t expect to lose her life that day, even though she was very unwell. I pray she’s happy now, because the pain is gone and she’s whole again and able to do whatever she wants. I pray there is help on the other side, to make sure they are alright and that they are helped if they are disoriented or confused.

That deep pain in my heart will stay for a long time, but I am glad that Samantha and Sonic are in the same realm again. These two belong together.

Samantha was and is such a wonderful special kitty girl. An absolute beauty, with her stunning green big eyes in which you can get lost in. She had the longest purr ever, going on and on and on every time she came to bed and we went to sleep. She was Ralph’s little girl. And became my little girl as well. I wish I would have gotten to know Ralph many years sooner, but I am eternally grateful for the years I got to have with Samantha and Sonic. They made their bond with me, which will keep us connected no matter how many years will pass, until we are finally reunited again, all of us.

The following photo was taken on Saturday, December 11, 2021. Samantha and Sonic were always smaller than Murli, and grown up Hero and Lisa. But because she was getting so thin, Samantha seems even more tiny in this photo. She loved to hang out in that basket during the day. The photo on the wall above Samantha is of Sonic btw. I took it myself in Spain, when Sonic was on his way to the front balcony. Ralph always love this picture.

Hero, Lisa and Samantha

For the moment, I’m trying to distract myself from the pain as much as possible. I can’t really sleep right and haven’t really been sleeping right since Sonic passed. I just miss them both so painfully.

But I distract myself by pouring all my heart and love on Ralph, Hero and Lisa. Helping and comforting them, helps me as well.

I’m very sorry for being gone for most of the year, having only done a few posts. This whole year was a mess. I’ll post again before the holidays.

Thank you all for still coming to this little blog and for leaving all your wonderful comments. It means a lot to me. Ralph also reads all of the comments.

Sending you love and blessings.

Everything · Pictures · Ralph and I · The Cats

Only took me a week to finish this post…

First, I just want to say thank you to all of you, for leaving all your absolutely wonderful and kind comments! You are always amazing to me, to Ralph and the kitties. Thank you!

Just in general, I rarely get to sit down and write a post in one go, because there’s always something going on that I have to get up for. But I love those reasons, because it’s for Ralph and the cats!

This time, it took me days to write this post was simply editing it over and over again, unsure if I should even mention what has been bothering me.

I’ve already been dealing with anxiety since my teens, but it’s been pretty much the same for many years, not too bad. But since about February it’s gotten a lot worse, which has not happened like this since my teens.

It’s the result of a combination of outside influences, a lot of it probably subconsciously. In the most simple terms, it’s the fear losing control over my / our life in various ways due to government decisions / laws / regulations / mandates / restrictions because of covid.

These fears have always been part of my anxiety disorder, but with the difference that I was always able to realise that it’s just part of my anxiety disorder has no base in reality. Nowadays, observing different western countries (mine included) and their law changes due to covid, I’m not so sure anymore.

My disorder is likely rooted partially in all the hospital stays, treatments and medical check ups throughout my childhood (starting at 5) due to migraines. As a young child, I was totally attached to my Mum, my family and home itself, including my kitty Minky. Most of these hospital stays happened suddenly and unexpected. From then on I was worried every time I had a medical appointment, that I might get sent to hospital again suddenly. To this day I am getting panic attacks if I have an appointment at a new doctors office, especially before check ups and medical procedures.

But back to the present… Where I unfortunately feel as if anything could be changed or mandated all of a sudden. That’s just the way my anxiety has always worked. Everything feels a lot worse than it normally is, by far.

Working my way out of that anxious hole I’m in

With this going on, I could not concentrate well on writing a post or anything, especially in the past month. I just tried to distract myself a bit on the laptop when I had the time, with Sims 4… Which is amazing as distraction! I had Sims 2 and Sims 3 as well over the years. It’s the only game I have ever been interested in. I have lots of kitties in various households in my game… It’s awesome.

In addition, I also tried to relax as much as possible and focus on our life and everything I love and like to do. Basically just try to get on with life and try not to worry. I found some new things I might do as well, like live streaming! As well as posting regularly and staying in contact with you lovely friends.

Publishing posts in a more daily / journal like fashion is something I wanted to do in forever. Keeping some structure and something regular like this might help a lot and I know it would be fun. Even if I can’t concentrate well, I can still do a little post with photos from the day or something.

How Ralph and the kitties are doing

Ralph is doing well, aside from the shaking hands. We’re happy and looking forward to the weather finally warming up for good! Sonic is doing amazing! He keeps slowly gaining weight and he’s zooming around the home by now! He is walking really fast and jumping up on anything with ease! He joins the others on the balcony a lot and on the windows. There are lots of cuddles and washes between Sonic and the others. His digestion is working really well too! I’m feeding him with the syringe still in addition to what he eats on his own. I give him all sorts of pureed meats he loves.

Sonic also has a collar with a little bell by now… He is totally deaf, so he can’t hear it and the collar didn’t bother him at all. He didn’t even feel bothered by it when I put it on him. The reason is that I know when Sonic is moving about or what he’s up to. I still always keep my eyes on him and it gave me a lot of peace of mind being able to hear him when I’m in another room. The other don’t care about the little bell at all and neither does Ralph.

Hero, Lisa and Samantha are doing well too! They are really enjoying the warm sun now and spend a lot of time on the windows and the balcony.

I’ll be posting more soon!

Lots of love from Ralph, the kitties and me! Thank you for being here!

Everything · Ralph and I · The Cats · Videos

Our 2 New Years Eve Videos

I filmed these little videos while lying on the bed, to be able to film the fireworks from the surrounding apartments. You can see Lisa’s silhouette, when she sat on the window sill, watching the fireworks. Hero was to the right, on a lower level of the kitty tree, because he was worried. Sonic was right next to me, to my left. He absolutely LOVES colourful lights, especially flashing or blinking lights. The fireworks were an amazing sight for him and he was mesmerized by them, not looking away the whole time. He’s deaf, so he isn’t scared or worried about the noise. Little boy absolutely loved it. Samantha is never worried about the fireworks, and she simply continued to sleep on the rocking chair next to the radiator.

Part 2 – You can hear little Lisa talking to Ralph in the 2nd video

There was no official firework by the city. Also, we’re under lockdown Nr 3 with general stay at home order and most of everything closed. In addition, there is a strict curfew from 8pm to 6am, including on New Years Eve. So people launched their fireworks from windows, balconies and patios, even more so than the other years, since everyone had to stay at home.

Thanks for all your wonderful and kind comments and wishes in the last post! You are the sweetest! So glad to have you all. I’ll start replying to you tomorrow.

Hugs!!!

Everything · Pictures · Ralph and I · The Cats

May you all be blessed, healthy and happy for the new year and forever!

Happy new year my lovely friends! Ralph, the kitties and I wish you all a much much much better year than it has been in 2020! Stay happy, enjoy what’s still good and beautiful in life, even if it’s hard.

I hope the sun will shine on our mask free faces this summer!

Here, I was trying all day to write a lovely post for you all. As well as another long post about what’s been going on here in Austria and more. But the 4 little rascals just didn’t leave me enough time in one sitting. Oh well. That’s how it always goes here. I have to stop and get up lots of times and my concentration goes out the window that way too. At some point I end up to tired to try and continue, that’s how another day has gone without a post lol. But I love my little rascals, I can’t say no to anything with them.

Sonic was watching the fireworks through the bedroom window just now. As you know, he can’t hear anything, but he always loved bright lights, blinking lights, colourful lights. He really enjoyed it! Samantha isn’t worried and rather continued with her nap next to the radiator on the rocking chair.

Lisa and Hero were a bit panicked. Hero especially started running off in a panic as the banging from fireworks and firecrackers intensified and he could not make the curve tight enough into the kitchen, and bonked his little head into the door frame. He is just as fast as his sister, but he can’t get take the corners as accurately and as tightly when he runs off full speed due to his missing back leg. I cuddled him and calmed him down, he’s fine thankfully and his head doesn’t seem to hurt. It wasn’t that hard of a bonk.

Lisa was running in a panic with all of her tail on the floor for a bit as well, but she actually started watching the fireworks from the bedroom window. I have a little video of it all, which I’ll upload soon to share it here.

There is so much I want to write, it’s been accumulating and there’s a lot that I want to share. So on to the next year, where I will hopefully get the things done that I plan. On that note, I am getting a proper planner in the mail next week, so I can plan what I need to do and what to do a lot better. Found that writing it onto actual paper works better for me than having it in a calendar on my phone or laptop.

This pic is from today, as Samantha and Sonic had their chicken. Hero and Lisa in the background had already eaten and were watching. I love my little band of rascals! Excuse the brush and dustpan in the picture but there is a never ending beach of kitty litter to clean up in that area.

Samantha and Sonic having chicken!

Love to you all! We all hope you have a lovely New Years Eve, despite the hardship of the current circumstances.

Everything · Murli the cat · Pictures · Ralph and I · Society and News · The Cats

Is it really Fall already?

Because it looks and feels like fall for us here. The leaves are dropping faster and faster and the days are getting shorter, the nights decidedly colder. We had to put the heating on over two weeks ago, for the most part only for the nights though. Thankfully, on most days the afternoons are still warm enough for the kitties to spend a few hours out on the catio.

What we’ve been up to since the last time

Ralph and I needed some more storage space for all our combined stuff in our home. We especially wanted a storage unit for the living room. But the furniture we saw in the stores were not really what we liked. So I went to look for a storage unit from private sellers. There is a very large site in Austria with all sorts of categories of stuff that people are selling. You can find just about anything there. The only problem is you have to pick it up yourself, which isn’t all that easy with large pieces of furniture.

Minutes into me browsing the site for storage units, I saw countless beautiful pieces for a very good price. One advert was especially great since the seller also provided transport for a small charge!

It was a lovely Lady who had to sell a bunch of her things because they were moving into a smaller home and had to get rid of a few large things. So, two weeks ago, the Ladies son and one of his friends came with their huge truck and delivered the storage unit to us! The unit comes in two separate pieces, the top and the bottom. The two guys brought them in and put it together for us. It was all done within a few minutes.

And here it is!

Of course, Hero and Lisa, who are terrified of strangers, were hiding. Samantha didn’t care too much and Sonic didn’t notice anything, since he was outside on the balcony with Ralph.

I had been hoping Hero and Lisa would stay out on the balcony with Ralph, as well, where they would not have noticed as much. It didn’t even take long for Hero to come back out!

Sonic followed Ralph into the living room and had quite the surprise to see the new storage unit there! As you know, Sonic is completely deaf, so he really had no idea anything was going on while he was out on the balcony with Ralph. Hero and Sonic were first to inspect everything!

Samantha came out soon afterwards, and Hero coaxed his sister Lisa out a few minutes later.

The first thing I did was to move Murli’s urn into its new spot in the storage unit. Finally, I had a safe pace for her, where I could also see the urn all the time.

Murli’s urn and her paw print in a clay heart below

Next to Murli’s urn are her favourite mousie, her wooden toy ball, her valerian root cushion, and below is her paw print in a clay heart, that the lovely people from the pet crematory made for me back then. It feels good to be able to honour her physical remains in that way. I know her beautiful soul is watching us sometimes. One day, we will all be reunited again.

Ralph and Hero ❤

That’s my view now when I move my head to the right from my desk ❤️ Hero loves to hang out on Ralph’s desk, and also loves to walk all over his keyboard…

Continuing my crochet and starting to sew!

You might remember that I started to crochet a curtain with a cat motive at the end of last year?

This is what it will look like, although mine will be wider, to fit our window in the living room.

I was working on it at the end of 2019 and when Murli passed, I lost all motivation for anything. I just felt too sad to engage in any of my hobbies. Only by the end of this summer did I finally feel all the motivation come back, to engage in the little hobbies I love again.

In addition, I wanted to learn how to sew my own clothes, as well as mend things and create toys for the cats. Luckily I found a lovely sewing machine and ordered it!

This sewing machine had some really great reviews and wasn’t expensive. Of course, the bag I chose for it has kitties on it!

I also have a few sewing patterns for a dress and a top, that are rather easy and for beginners. I sewed before, just easy little things, but that was over 15 years ago.

Covid

We’ve been at home ever since the beginning of Covid. Ralph does not want to take a chance with anything, just in case. I only left to go buy what we need, go to the doctor for my regular prescriptions and pick up meds for Sonic and Samantha at the Vet. It’s not much different to me than any other year, since I am so limited by how much I can do physically in a day, due to the chronic migraine and fatigue. But I do really miss going for little walks with Ralph.

I’ve only been out for fun about 3 times since August, and that was to visit my best friend Conny and her two kitties.

The current data for Austria

https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/country/austria/

Today

I can’t believe it’s the 8th of October already, because this year went by faster than all the years before. And the previous years felt like they were over in a flash already!

Samantha on the window sill, Sonic on the kitty tree, Lisa on the bed near the tree, and flopped out Hero on the bed.

We had another sunny and warm afternoon. But as soon as the sun is gone, it gets chilly quickly. Some days were cold despite the sun, then the 4 kitties go into the bedroom to soak in the sun. Now that the bed is right beside the window, they absolutely LOVE it. They can lie around in the sun and see the birds while on the bed.

Cuddling up with cats

During the night, I usually have Sonic to my right, with his head next to mine on the pillow and my hand on his side. That’s how he cuddles up every time I go to bed. Lisa and Hero will either sleep along or on my legs, or one of the two will sleep way up on the left side of my head, leaning onto my pillow. Samantha will usually stay to my right and when Ralph comes to bed, she’ll cuddle up on his legs.

My only problem is that I get a bit hot sometimes with all the kitties around me…

I’ll end this post now, but I’ll post another one soon. I will go catch up on all of your blogs now. I hope all your furbabies and yourselves are well!

Ralph, the kitties and I send love to all! Take care!