First, I just want to say thank you to all of you, for leaving all your absolutely wonderful and kind comments! You are always amazing to me, to Ralph and the kitties. Thank you!
Just in general, I rarely get to sit down and write a post in one go, because there’s always something going on that I have to get up for. But I love those reasons, because it’s for Ralph and the cats!
This time, it took me days to write this post was simply editing it over and over again, unsure if I should even mention what has been bothering me.
I’ve already been dealing with anxiety since my teens, but it’s been pretty much the same for many years, not too bad. But since about February it’s gotten a lot worse, which has not happened like this since my teens.
It’s the result of a combination of outside influences, a lot of it probably subconsciously. In the most simple terms, it’s the fear losing control over my / our life in various ways due to government decisions / laws / regulations / mandates / restrictions because of covid.
These fears have always been part of my anxiety disorder, but with the difference that I was always able to realise that it’s just part of my anxiety disorder has no base in reality. Nowadays, observing different western countries (mine included) and their law changes due to covid, I’m not so sure anymore.
My disorder is likely rooted partially in all the hospital stays, treatments and medical check ups throughout my childhood (starting at 5) due to migraines. As a young child, I was totally attached to my Mum, my family and home itself, including my kitty Minky. Most of these hospital stays happened suddenly and unexpected. From then on I was worried every time I had a medical appointment, that I might get sent to hospital again suddenly. To this day I am getting panic attacks if I have an appointment at a new doctors office, especially before check ups and medical procedures.
But back to the present… Where I unfortunately feel as if anything could be changed or mandated all of a sudden. That’s just the way my anxiety has always worked. Everything feels a lot worse than it normally is, by far.
Working my way out of that anxious hole I’m in
With this going on, I could not concentrate well on writing a post or anything, especially in the past month. I just tried to distract myself a bit on the laptop when I had the time, with Sims 4… Which is amazing as distraction! I had Sims 2 and Sims 3 as well over the years. It’s the only game I have ever been interested in. I have lots of kitties in various households in my game… It’s awesome.
In addition, I also tried to relax as much as possible and focus on our life and everything I love and like to do. Basically just try to get on with life and try not to worry. I found some new things I might do as well, like live streaming! As well as posting regularly and staying in contact with you lovely friends.
Publishing posts in a more daily / journal like fashion is something I wanted to do in forever. Keeping some structure and something regular like this might help a lot and I know it would be fun. Even if I can’t concentrate well, I can still do a little post with photos from the day or something.
How Ralph and the kitties are doing
Ralph is doing well, aside from the shaking hands. We’re happy and looking forward to the weather finally warming up for good! Sonic is doing amazing! He keeps slowly gaining weight and he’s zooming around the home by now! He is walking really fast and jumping up on anything with ease! He joins the others on the balcony a lot and on the windows. There are lots of cuddles and washes between Sonic and the others. His digestion is working really well too! I’m feeding him with the syringe still in addition to what he eats on his own. I give him all sorts of pureed meats he loves.
Sonic also has a collar with a little bell by now… He is totally deaf, so he can’t hear it and the collar didn’t bother him at all. He didn’t even feel bothered by it when I put it on him. The reason is that I know when Sonic is moving about or what he’s up to. I still always keep my eyes on him and it gave me a lot of peace of mind being able to hear him when I’m in another room. The other don’t care about the little bell at all and neither does Ralph.
Hero, Lisa and Samantha are doing well too! They are really enjoying the warm sun now and spend a lot of time on the windows and the balcony.
I’ll be posting more soon!
Lots of love from Ralph, the kitties and me! Thank you for being here!
Every spring, a tiny group of pigeons comes back to hang around the bird feeders I hang onto the small tree near our balcony. The pigeons are too big to get to the feeders themselves, but they wait around for the food the small birds drop on the ground. They especially enjoy perching on our bedroom window shutters.
Yesterday, I opened the balcony door for the kitties when the sun came through the clouds for a little bit. Glad I did it at the right time! Because Hero and Lisa were excited to see a pigeon again! The small birds were chattering away really loud, probably because they were happy about some warmth from the sun as well.
Just a tiny little clip, because I was so happy, I didn’t think of starting to record right away. And like I wanted to do for a long time anyway, I want to share little things out of our life as well, if I’m too busy for a long post 😉
Time flies as always, even during the lockdown and while we’ve all been under lockdown, spring has fully arrived here. The trees have blossomed, the first spring flowers have come and gone and now everything is turning green and lush.
And more flowers and blossoms from the garden in the following slideshow
The weather has been lovely and warm for the most part during the last couple of weeks. Of course, the cats love it!
Now that the sun is rising higher every day and it’s getting quite warm, I need shade for our balcony. I fenced in the balcony on all sides with netting that adds about 1 1/2 meters on top of the railing. Therefore, I can’t use my parasols like I did in previous years, as they’re too big to fit into the fenced-in area.
I was thinking about all kinds of things you can do, but the easiest way was to get a shade sail, which I’ve ordered yesterday. I’m really looking forward to having shade again on our balcony.
Before Hero and Lisa, we didn’t need to fence in our balcony so high, because the older cats didn’t care to jump onto the railing or do anything silly. With young cats like Hero and Lisa however, I knew I have to make sure they are safe and can’t do anything to get themselves hurt or lost, if they were to jump off the balcony.
While the cats have been enjoying their time on the balcony, I noticed that the amount of pollen increased over the days. It’s gotten so bad, that the balcony and everything else is covered in yellow pollen. Heaps of it even on the sidewalks and on cars. Even though I kept wiping the balcony floor down every two hours, it was no use. The air was absolutely saturated with mostly Birch pollen, as well as some Ash tree pollen.
I gave them all a good long brush a couple times a day and tried damp towels to get them cleaned up. It was really difficult to get it out, as the pollen mess went deep into their fur and stuck to it.
Thankfully after a couple days with heavy rain, it seems a lot better. The kitties fur is also clean by now.
The lockdown is ending now
After Easter, our government announced that by the beginning of May, the lockdown will be lifted gradually. There is a huge difference in how people acted in the beginning of the lockdown and now. People were actually rather stepping into the street than pass you by too closely and everyone was very conscious about everyone else’s proximity and tried to avoid it. This is quite different now, as people are acting almost completely normal again.
During most of the lockdown, the streets were empty and quiet, as were the buildings. There was nobody visiting anyone and hardly anyone was walking around outside. Now I can see people starting to visit each other again and the streets are becoming more lively.
Last week, as I went to pick up Samantha’s medicine from the Vet, I saw that the streets were full of people again. It looked just like before the pandemic.
The Government numbers say our state of Styria is by now the 2nd worst affected with 382 active cases, after Vienna, which still has 567 cases in Austria.
Ralph, the cats and I are all well!
How are you all doing? How are things where you are?
Even if we’re locked down and stay at home for who knows how long, I will always be happy and content with my lovely little family!
There’s no getting bored in our home anyway. Not with the 4 cats and each other, and the internet, which lets us connect to our friends and lots of entertainment.
Every day is a lovely day with our cats
As soon as I open my eyes in the morning, this is usually what I see…
Hero, Lisa and Sonic usually sleep on top of me, or cuddled up on my tummy, my legs, arms, or my side, depending on the way I’m lying. It’s usually these 3 in any order that are all over and around me. Samantha loves to either be curled up next to Ralph’s legs, or she watches the birds from the bedroom window (that’s where Samantha was when I took these photos).
It’s impossible not to smile first thing when I wake up with my little family of Ralph and the cats all around me. No matter how anxious I feel, or how bad my migraine is when I wake up, I still wake up feeling happy thanks to them.
Spring is definitely here with flowers everywhere and birds who are building their nests again. The temperatures before the weekend were amazing! Almost like summer. Unfortunately, it got really cold again over the weekend.
Especially today, the wind was awfully strong and ice cold. I really hope it will warm up again soon, the cats and us really missed the warm sun.
Despite the cold, Lisa and Hero always enjoy some fresh air and love to watch the birds for a few minutes. Also, Lisa and I have a little game where I throw one of the toy balls out onto the balcony and she will run out to bring it back in every single time! She usually carries her ball to the same spot, there she’ll wait for me to get it and throw it again.
But at long as it’s sunny, the cats are getting their fill of sunshine inside as well. With every day we’re getting closer to summer, the sun will shine into our apartment longer.
A small earthquake with the epicentre in Croatia
Yesterday, there was even an earthquake we slept through (at 5:24 UTC). Well, I’m sure the cats noticed, but Ralph and I didn’t. Here in Graz it wasn’t anything serious. The epicentre was in Croatia, a little less than 200km from us, where earthquakes aren’t anything unusual. I’ve experienced a couple of them when I was in Croatia myself as a child.
Small earthquakes with the epicentre within Austria are not unusual either, as the African plate meets with the Eurasian plate in the Alps. Especially our region is rather active for these little earthquakes.
Since it’s almost midnight again, I will go to bed in a bit. I’ll hopefully feel more rested soon, as the day seems way to short when I need more sleep than normal.
I keep thinking of everyone, hoping that you’re all safe and well, and have everything you need.